So after purchasing a dress I wasn't crazy about, hoping against hope that it would turn out better than it was, and then seeing it at my first dress fitting, how do I feel about it now?
Meh. I'm still pretty whatever about everything. I go through spurts of not caring much at all and being pretty down. I keep telling myself that it's just a dress and the dress doesn't make me a bride. Marrying Keegan makes me a bride and our marriage is the most important thing about that day. Then, I watch Say Yes to the Dress (why I do this to myself, I don't know,) and I see all of these girls finding their dream dress. I get upset that I didn't have that OMG moment, that I feel like I settled for something I wasn't 100% in love with. Then I go back to not caring. It's a viscous cycle.
I don't want to blame anyone for what happened. It wasn't the my consultant's fault at Victoria's Bridal. It was my own fault for having an image in my head of what I wanted and not having any other options. After looking at my dresses folder these days, I realize that I was interested in a lot of other styles besides all lace. I've saved dresses with pockets, color, and beading. Looking back, I realized I really wanted (and still want) a dress with pockets.
After my appointment with Victoria's Bridal, I should have stepped back, found other inspiration photos, and made another appointment either with Victoria's Bridal, or another shop. I was so focused on finding a dress while I was in Missouri with my family that I didn't think that making another appointment was an option. I was worried that I only had 8 months until my wedding and that I had to find a dress now. In retrospect, I wish I had gone back to Mississippi, found more inspiration photos and made more appointments at other shops. I wish I had shopped around.
If I had made other appointments, I would have told my consultants that my budget was more around the $1,000 mark so that tax and alterations wouldn't have put me over my budget. Again, I don't blame my consultant for that. I've watched enough episodes of Say Yes to the Dress that I know consultants want to make a sale and that they'll push the budget envelope for a bigger sale. I should have asked the price of the dress before putting it on and told her that I wasn't comfortable paying that much.
Overall, I've learned a lot from this experience. Granted, it doesn't really help me much now, but I hope that I can help other brides, and perhaps my sisters down the road. If anyone asks me how my dress buying experience went, I will tell them honestly. I will tell them to slow down, shop around, and don't feel pressured to spend more than you want.
I'm not horribly worried about my wedding day. I've decided that the dress is just that, a dress. It won't ruin my wedding day because no matter what I wear, I will still get married to the love of my life. I'm planning on bringing a short white dress so that if I absolutely hate my dress by the reception, I can change and dance the night away.
My wedding is going to be about friends and family getting together to watch Keegan and I make life promises to each other. In 20 years, it won't matter what I wore. What will matter is that Keegan and I are still as in love with each other as when we first spoke our vows. Even though my dress buying experience didn't go exactly how I expected it to, it won't ruin my wedding.
I hope that my story can help other brides who have just started looking at dresses, are in the middle of trying dresses on, or have had experiences like mine. Weddings are portrayed as magical with rainbows and pink fluffy hearts, but sometimes things don't go as planned. These things don't need to define our wedding. What matters is that we will be promising ourselves to our loved one for the rest of our lives. A dress, food, favors, or chairs shouldn't change that.
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