I knew when we decided to get married in Columbia, that it would be a destination wedding for 99% of our guests (destination meaning out of city, state, or county.)
I knew that for my family to come, it would mean them getting passports, driving or flying over 1,400 km and paying for a hotel for multiple nights.
I knew that a lot of Keegan's family lives in different states (Washington, Arizona, Maine.)
I knew that a lot of our friends have just graduated from college and have moved onto jobs in different cities and states (California, Missouri, Illinois.) Along the same lines, I also knew that since they are in their first year of their jobs, they don't have a lot of vacation time or extra money.
I knew all of these things when we decided to get married in Columbia.
So why does it bother me so much that we have more guests not coming to the wedding, than those able to attend?
Even though I knew that Columbia was a drive or flight for all of our guests except for my immediate family, I selfishly hoped that most of our guests would be able to come to the wedding. Even though I knew this, it still hurts every time I open up an RSVP card and see the "no" box checked.
When we first sent out our invitations, I was so excited to check the mailbox and see who would be coming to our wedding. Now, I just do it so that I can give accurate numbers to our vendors. I still get beyond excited every time I see the "Wouldn't miss it for the world!" box checked, but I do get sad when I see that some of our favorite people won't be able to see us on our special day.
On the other side of things, I have been amazed at the people who have said they are coming so far. I didn't expect any of my family to come because lives in Canada. However, one of my uncles and cousins on my dad's side and an uncle, and aunt and uncle from my mom's side have already said they're coming. It means the world to me that they are taking the time and spending the money to come all the way to the States just for a weekend.
As of now, we've had about 31% of our RSVPs back. About 48 people have said they're coming, however over half of that is our wedding party and their families, so really about 20 people will be guests that aren't part of the wedding party. 47 people have responded "no" and I expect to see that number increase significantly.
I understand why our guests are not able to make it to the wedding. Like I said, it's a drive or flight for 99% of the people we invited. Vacation times are short and money is tight. A lot of the guests that are not able to come are older guests of Keegan's parents or my family. I knew from the get go that my 80-something year old grandparents weren't going to haul themselves on a plane and fly to the middle of Missouri for a weekend. It still broke my heart a little but to see their RSVP come back with the "no" box checked.
This is honestly the main reason we decided to honeymoon in Canada. I knew that a lot of my family wouldn't be able to come and that honestly, my grandparents don't have much time left. Our honeymoon will be the first time that Keegan has met any of my extended family (except for my mom's mom who passed away late last year,) and it may be the only time that he gets to meet my dad's parents. While I still have dreams of lying somewhere warm and sandy, I know that taking our honeymoon and visiting with my family is so much more important. There will always be time to go to the beach (especially now that we live 4 hours from the Mississippi coast,) but family won't always be around.
For now, every "no" RSVP that we receive will hurt, but that just means that we'll have to celebrate with our friends and family that can't make it a different time. I'm still so excited to celebrate with our friends and family that can be there. It's going to be an amazing weekend and one of the best times of our lives!
Anyone else been disappointed by their RSVPs? Did less people come to your wedding than expected?
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